So Relieved... | tacit's Blog

 Oh My! Today i have been running around so much. I actually have been running around a lot the past few weeks. I just got back from a meeting of JSA. It is a group/club that i have been part of all of my high school career.

It is a debating/political kind of thing and we go to places like princeton and washington and do fun activities. I love it. I don't know why exactly.. but i really do. The advisor is a teacher that i have had for years and feel pretty close with. Hell... i was gonna run for president but i got sick so... =/

Anyway i have been super busy and missed the announcements for the sign ups. I went to the meeting today and they said they were going to be very strict and that NO one could join now. If you hadn't paid already then you are not in it. My heart sank. I was very worried.

After the meeting i talked with my friend about what i should do. The girl who is president and i haven't had the greatest past. I kind of figured she hated me. We went up to the treasurer .... who also does not like me.. and he said no. I decided to wait to talk to my teacher. so i stood in a line waiting.

I suddenly became very depressed. I felt like i could almost cry. It probably sounds silly. It is just something that i have actually cared about.. and been involved in even when i was really down. I was part of it before it became "cool" at my school. I even thought that if i can't be part of it i would quit everything else. This giant pocket of grief popped out of nowhere.

I finally was able to get to my teacher. I told him "I don't want to put you in a bad situation... but i didn't sign up and pay the money" It was so hard for my words to come out.

He didn't say anything at first. He looked like he was thinking and about to speak. I was waiting with bated breath. Then all of a sudden the president came up and said it was no problem. OMG i was so relieved. She signed me up and i gave her the money. They said that they were just trying to get rid of some of the riff raff that wanted in.

I would be completely devestated if the said no. I might have started crying. I actually did have some tears come while i was waiting. Oh man... How weird is it that it means that much?